I wrote this yesterday...

I just got home after our weekly team meeting at Chris and Melody’s. We have this meeting to come back together and celebrate what God did in the past week and be encouraged for the upcoming week.

How it works:

We talk about our weekends. What we did, where we went, who we saw/met… If we have something from the week we want to share, we do that too. After that, we go over our cultural assignment from the week before. Tonight we talked about how Brasilian’s carry themselves and why it is that way. We compare what we see to what we know in the States. When we’re done with that, we either watch the weekly video for David Platt’s Follow Me or go over the homework, depending on which week it is. Tonight we watched the video. After the video, it’s dinnertime. Always a good time. Melody (and Chris) cooks for us; we clean up. It’s a great system with great food. The time after dinner varies week to week. Tonight we talked about how our schedules were about to change.

Let me throw it out there that during the Follow Me video I got a headache that turned into a splitting headache with a side of nausea really quickly. I would have loved to go back to my house and crawled in bed until the morning. Pride kept me from asking to go home. I didn’t want to leave in the middle of our meeting, didn’t want to be the only one not there. I didn’t want to miss out on the new information we got, on the “family” time around the table, on hearing Michael’s (Chris and Melody’s son) “Gotcha Day” story. 

So, I took a quick nap, and sucked it up.

Back to the story.

After dinner, Chris and Melody started to fill us in on the changes that were coming our way. You probably know, I don’t really like change, so this was difficult for me.

You mean after I’ve gotten into this routine that works, I now have to start over? What about the people I’ve been hanging out with? Are these things really going to work?

These were all questions that ran through my mind. Looking back, I can see that there was some actual concern, but a lot of it stemmed from doubt the enemy was throwing my way. I wasn’t looking at this the way I should have been… These are opportunities from the Lord.

We went on talking about the new things headed our way. What we thought might not work because of what we’ve gathered since being on campus the last couple weeks. What we thought could become overwhelming. What we thought might be beneficial.

Then the conversation got turned around. As it often does. We started talking about our mission here. What is our calling? What is church? What, as Christ’s disciples, are we supposed to be doing?

We’ve talked about this before. A lot, actually. Chris likes to repeat this conversation. Some might look at this as boring and draining. I find it grounding because I know that my leader is consistent. So, we’ve talked about this before, but never before has it made me want to cry so badly.

What is church?

I’ve never really had to think about this question before. I was raised to think that “we are the church” and we just go meet on Sunday morning at a building called a church. Even when I went to school at Southern, after everyone said “Oh your faith will be questioned so much at the university” and so many other things, I never had to question what the church was and what it does.

When I came down to Sao Leopoldo, I definitely didn’t think I would be questioning the church. I mean I’m working with missionaries, right?

Nope.

Since I’ve been down here, I’ve experienced a new and different kind of burden and guilt. Things I’ve been taught and have practiced, essentially, all of my life are being questioned. Not by unbelievers, yet by my supervisors and myself. Woah.

Chris and Melody have called us down here to make friends. When I explained that to people before I left, I got mixed reactions. Some laughed and some questioned it saying, “That’s it? You’re going five months to Brasil to make friends?” That hurt. It hurts now to think about those reactions.

Very few understood the severity of that calling.

There’s a second part to our calling. We want to make friends with the intention and prayer of seeing them become followers of Christ. A true follower of Christ. Not one that raises their hand because the Americans asked them to. Not one that comes to these huge events the Americans are hosting. A true follower of Christ who develops a relationship with the Lord. A relationship that sees good times, bad times, struggles, joy, laughter, tears.

Our mission isn’t to make the most friends we possibly can while we’re down here. Our mission isn’t to invite all of these unbelievers to our “church” that will meet on Sunday night. Our mission isn’t to rope them in with 

prizes or huge events.

We’ve been told to “go where they are.” Go hang out with the people. Go to coffee shops, go to football games, go to the mall, go to the movies, go to the nail salon, go to dinner, go to lunch, go to the campuses.

Go. Not invite.

The first church didn’t invite the unbelievers to their church. The first church went out to the danger, to the hate, to the mockery, to the death. 

The first church went out to the people.

Then, they came together as a group of believers. A group who needed restoration, encouragement, advice, help, prayer, guidance.

 A group who called upon the Lord. A group who praised the Lord for what was happening out there.

I’m learning that this is the way a church should be. 
I’m gaining an understanding as to why it should be like this. 
I see things in myself that I want to change.

So why did I want to cry tonight?

My entire view on the way church is conducted is being reshaped. Everything I’ve known is about to change. I myself am about to change so much, and I won’t be able to express fully what I’ve learned to the people at home. My heart is breaking for the unbelievers I could have spent time with back in the States. I’m thinking about my family and friends and wondering if there will be tension in our relationships because I now see things differently. I thought about how poorly I was doing at honoring the greatest thing Christ asked us to do; make disciples.

What I thought was keeping me at the team meeting wasn’t pride, but the Lord’s plan for me to talk these things through with my supervisors and teammates. He’s laying the groundwork for a HUGE time of growth in my life.

Does it scare me? Yes. But oh, how excited I am to see what the Lord has in store for me. I’ve been in Sao Leopoldo for a month now, and I’ve learned so much about so many different things. I still have four more months of learning and growing and seeking. Yay!

I walked away from the meeting tonight a little shaken up. My mind was racing and floating and spinning. After spending some time thinking it through, my mind is still doing those things, however not in a state of fear, 

rather a state of anticipation.

Lord, thank You for keeping me at the meeting tonight. Thank You for Chris and Melody. Thank You for the years of experience they have. For the comfort and reassurance they can bring. Thank You for teammates who are patient while I ask question upon question, trying to work through this. God, I pray that I continue to grow. I pray that I don’t get complacent with just what I know now. God, I pray that I remember this is a process. Help me to look for You in the ordinary places.

I’ll probably be thinking this through for a while,

Taylor Lea

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, 

because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2

Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.

Jeremiah 33:3